a Living Breathing Journal of My PTSD Journey. as I Paint through the Pain & Celebrate Life.
Friday, August 16, 2013
[I GREIVE] PETER GABRIEL
I have a great oppertunity,at my fingertips. A gallery where I can display my art. Only I have no means of transportation to pick up my works,[and no strengh] because their large to get them to the venue. I guess I feel inadequte. My thought was to get the pieces there,and in front of each piece have a video player= with the video of the peice. Example=
My hope to were to ,break down the video's, and sell prints.but with head trauma "that's hard to figure out how to do that" [overwhelmed] But my dam body, will not comply. I can't even lift my body from bed, and it overwhelms me....I guess I feel upset,I'm dealing car accident insurance. And everything has to be done at there pace.So I've have 2 epirurals, 6 needles in my mid back, and now scheduled for next epirural [at the end of this month.... seems, as soon feel ettled from the last needle we do another....And the relief,is hardly a differece. And body trembles in pain, so decided "I may try painting abstract", since my hands have N percision. And I messed up that peice , I was working on=and it has sent me into a tail spin.I do give it to God, because I sure don't know the outcome....Maybe I say it out loud ,"I feel myself giving up on Jabip Village".....Because it takes me all day just to prepare fpr a doctors appointment,how the hell would I run a business [having a bad day]= the problem is I use to be smart, and now I can feel the difference. I keep hoping it will go away. They had me seeing a cognitive therapist, then they took it away. I greive, and pray" this too shall pass" this is not the way, I want my family to remember me= I use to be able to move mountains, and now I can't even move me. Paitiece "I'm told"...........It's been 13 months, since my car accident [and I greive]had to to let my beauty lisence go,after 30 years....