Grandiose"just want to serve my purpose"

Part of my diagnoses, is I've become grandiose. I have a song " I want share with with Sister G, and from time to time, " I sent a message to Lana,because I have stoty [I think would make an awsome movie"[transfer] I have scetch pads filled with idea's, that just remain stagnate. Perhap's that it, all this ART, in mind [with no movement, it's insane.] I just want to better my life, I just serve my purpose.....~And I'm scetching a super hero, hehe~I FEEL LIKE I HAVE ONE GREEN LEAF!

When I cry, that cry. I feel every feature of my face disform....As my face,expresses a silent scream,then my eye's burst a river.....As I feel my face,and chest swell with the rush of heartache.....My heart begins to beat so fast,with such speed. Like a bullet,shot out of the chamber of a gun...... Then breath becomes deep,and shallow, as if I'm, reaching from the bottom of my soul.... As if I'm inside looking up,I feel my heart ripping right out from under my rib. As this near silent howl,comes from the bottom, of my soul......And I sob,like a baby,left cold,and unheld........All at once a overwhelmed heart,"say's I give! Take the rest of me....To have a heart,hurts to much........Scab's of love scrapped,then every heartache bleeds..... Echoing through, the broken chambers,of what use to be my heart......As I try to hold on to breath,I see through glassy eye's...Numbness,from face to feet, Is this my lesson, for loving.....The passage in my throat,is closed making it hard to breath... My facial fetures feel,like cured clay. A disfigured sculpture,to represent"WHAT IS PAIN" My heart slows down,and skips a beat,an off beat rythm....Always skipping a beat,as all broken hearts do,echo......THE CREATION OF RYTHM,AND BLUES......Yet I know it still remains to exist(my heart),because it hurt's so bad.... To remind me of life,to continue to breath,with pattern.....I feel as hallow,as a dying tree......In the middle of a green forrest,with one GREEN leaf left,breath ........ALEZIA