Friday, March 15, 2013

" learning to exept PLAN B"=A Present

<3 I admit I've very emotional,everyday I wake hoping to feel better....I am learning to :EXCEPT....A Quote,My Daughter say's "Learn to exept,PLAN B" I happen to find that funny,because we alway's have a plan.....And I am learning to except, God's plan for US.....Alot changes have taken place,the last couple of years.....Another quote "they say, Bad thing's happen to good people" well bad thing's happen to everyone....It's 8 months since my accident, my hairs fallen out,my vision is still blurred,and the night mare's haven gone away.....Crazy enough, I feel so grateful, to be alive. I lost sight of that,my fear get's in the way.....You can hardly put me in a car,I'm like a cat in the bath tub....(with memory loss) The day of the accident, I called on my family to tell them what happened. And fear seized me once again,they were all a great driving distance from me. So I responded," I'll be alright,I'm just banged up. I negected to tell them,I was on a back board,brought in by the ambulance.....Back in 1999,I had car accident=with almost 4 yaers of grand mal seizures. Many year's ago,We lost three Family member's on the way to our home.....It was traumatic, a triple funeral,they were killed on Thanksgiving Day. I lately have noticed the pattern in me,and it's brought to my attention. I kinda of come undone,when waiting for someone to arrive. And Holiday's/hence PTSD.... feel like I'm dying,someone Ilove would alway's say"it just a feeling it will go away......PLAN B,=I'm gonna try to live Like I am dying, I mean realy we all are.I can feel a change in me, I feel GRATEFUL to be alive.....When I see my family, walk up to me, I'm amazed EVERY TIME....How much a few day's, How many changes in just minutes..can take place.. I'm wising up, I learning to be forgiving,and asking for forgiveness.... I truley,FEEL BLESSED TO BE ALIVE I'm tatered,and fraided...But I am starting to be in this present moment=for it is that(A PRESENT) and I will L[]VE,and hope to be L[]VED,and try with all my might to give WHOLE SELF,Amen X[]x I'll be seeing Y[]U!

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