Monday, June 9, 2014

Pink Floyd ~TIME~[time to start living]

Time, time is a tricking thing. ~We all want more time, they say timing is everything. I have been quite pessimistic , I feel as if I'm running out of time... I'm sure You all feel that way. "We must make the most of our time".
I ran into an old Friend last night at Church, expressed my surgery is coming up~ And I'm trying to get things in order. Many of You may know I moved form one apartment to the other. I have things here, and there. And Her wisdom was just what I  needed to hear, she said "'It just doesn't matter. That if Your not well enough to do it, it just doesn't get done. That instead I should be living, in this time. Not worrying over what I didn't get done" .My PTSD has been there for so many years, after the event of a triple death, the cleaning up after someone has passed, is devastating= and somehow I find myself trying, to clean up in the event of my death/ that I've forgotten how to live..... This car accident has brought all that fear ,to the fore front of my mind~ they say pain is the trigger..... The grand plan is to have the surgery, to be out of the pain... I will try harder to live by the serenity prayer=because I feel myself losing reality, when close my eyes to sleep [I have flash backs of the car accident, and I want it to go away]  I mostly don't understand how if I a TBI= traumanic brain injury, and short term memory loss- why does play in my head, like a loop. It's been hard on my Family ,they are not use to seeing me cry all the time. That [this] is not the Woman they knew, this pain has altered Me.... I will try harder ,to Live more. =TIME TO START LIVING/ I've been living like I'm dying.....Time to G[] catch the bus,and get the blood work, and x-ray I need for surgery.Be back soon X[]x

1 comment:

  1. Recovering from a car accident is tough. You have to deal with all the pain and injuries that it caused you. But I have to agree with your friend, everything will slowly return to normal, once your surgery has been done properly. That will be your starting point in moving on, and in forgetting that terrible experience. And while trauma can be a big hurdle to overcome, I'm sure you have friends and family to support you in this ordeal. How was your surgery, btw?

    Sabrina Craig @ Medical Attorney NY