Pink Floyd ~TIME~[time to start living]

 

 

Time, time is a tricking thing. ~We all want more time, they say timing is everything. I have been quite pessimistic , I feel as if I'm running out of time... I'm sure You all feel that way. "We must make the most of our time".

I ran into an old Friend last night at Church, expressed my surgery is coming up~ And I'm trying to get things in order. Many of You may know I moved form one apartment to the other. I have things here, and there. And Her wisdom was just what I  needed to hear, she said "'It just doesn't matter. That if Your not well enough to do it, it just doesn't get done. That instead I should be living, in this time. Not worrying over what I didn't get done" .My PTSD has been there for so many years, after the event of a triple death, the cleaning up after someone has passed, is devastating= and somehow I find myself trying, to clean up in the event of my death/ that I've forgotten how to live..... This car accident has brought all that fear ,to the fore front of my mind~ they say pain is the trigger..... The grand plan is to have the surgery, to be out of the pain... I will try harder to live by the serenity prayer=because I feel myself losing reality, when close my eyes to sleep [I have flash backs of the car accident, and I want it to go away]  I mostly don't understand how if I a TBI= traumanic brain injury, and short term memory loss- why does play in my head, like a loop. It's been hard on my Family ,they are not use to seeing me cry all the time. That [this] is not the Woman they knew, this pain has altered Me.... I will try harder ,to Live more. =TIME TO START LIVING/ I've been living like I'm dying.....Time to G[] catch the bus,and get the blood work, and x-ray I need for surgery.Be back soon X[]x