a Living Breathing Journal of My PTSD Journey. as I Paint through the Pain & Celebrate Life.
Friday, June 27, 2014
I'm sorry for Bonnie's "un-solved murder"
My Daughter , and My Sister have been spending a lot of time with me. Jewelia's Dad [Joe] visited last night. We sat outside, under the stairs and spoke of world wisdom's. Joe was telling my sister, that when We were children, we grew up in the same town ~of course We didn't know each other then ,and He was 4 years older than Me [in a town called Barrington N.J.] So later when We met, and We shared where We grew up, He told Me a horrible detail ~I never knew= a murder/ since then I've been trying to help solve this murder [it's part of My bucket list] At the age of eight ,I was violated. And fought my way free. It was down in the laundry room ,drug into a storage bin .He threatened if I ever told, He would kill My family .And his pants were dropping to his knees ,bacause the storage bin was not tall enough for him to stand... He was blocking the gate ,he used some kind of rag to put over your mouth for sudation ...I kept fighting screaming, kicking .Till the the point I kicked him over, stepped over him ran out a back door, and climbed a tree. And watched him frantically search for Me till it was dark......And I went home/ for what ever reason not long after this happened WE MOVED......... Then years later as an adult when telling Joe, where I grew up ~ He told Me, that's where that little year was murdered .They called her Bunny, Her name was Bonnie to Me~ I have felt responsible for [Bonnie Bateman's[ murder] I've tied so many avenues , un-solved murders...... I just wanted to tell somebody his description ,"He was 5'10, 180 lbs. Dark hair, unshaved face. He wore a green, gray uniform, and smelled of gasoline....His pants where weighed down by keys, and coins.... I am haunted by death of Bonnie.... I pray, and ask ask for forgiveness."