Years ago I helped someone through a neck surgery ,that then turned into five.... I know that is where all the fear is coming from.That person couldn't even brush their hair,or fend for themselves.I guess seeing that, experiencing that has made Me so aware.I am not walking into this blind, I know what I'm up against.And I know I'm struggling with family,seeing Me that way. Although them is way has been N PICNIC......My Family has been pulling Me through, when I lived upstairs it was a studio apartment. And lived with all my paints, and beads around Me~there was order, it just looked a mess. Then the last epirurial changed me. The swell was so bad, I hardly had control of my hands. I haven't beaded since. Although I pulled all my bead in , and around my bed for after the surgery. For I am Hopeful. To paint again,I always wanted to tango.... And I crave to go to the beach.... nly when I go to the beach, My family and I make a large sand sculpture.nly I don't for able to ride in the car,or sculpt... I feel like I'm failing them. So instead I'm making apartment, my project so when they visit it will be ur new beginning~ It's all mind ver matter=I CAN D THIS!