a Living Breathing Journal of My PTSD Journey. as I Paint through the Pain & Celebrate Life.
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Thursday, May 30, 2013
August Rush Rhapsody [Magical]
~The music is all around us, all you have to do is listen~"What did You what to be, when you grow up? Your still alive, so be it....[]ne on the up-sides to brain truma~Is you, you want to try every thing~You have the the spirt of a child. I am learning*to except I have a head tramua, and have to go to cognitive theraphy I have to relearn, I've forgot.....I'm having trouble painting, so I want to try to learn to play GUITAR :)" Anything is possible...What did always want to do? G[] D[] IT!" L[]VE M[]THERSKY X[]x
Rt# 66, in a Pink Cadillac
~I was having crazy dreams " I woke up with =this song in my head" It's one of those songs that get stuck in your head...[hehe] So now it's stuck in yours"....There was a time, I thought I would get a winaneego,and drive to Florida to see my Dad "Not anymore" getting me in a car,is like giving a cat a bath....lol Maybe in a pink cadillac=learning to except, the things I can not change= but we still sing the songs,and dream "maybe someday" When pigs fly=[cracking myself up]weeeeeee
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
~Back on the Ground~
BING[] NIGHT
*daughter~ANGELINA*sister~Donna*Mother~Donna* [ME] *daghter~Rachael ~Found this photo,it still crack's me UP! Is it any wonder, my Son in law's say "sure your gone to bingo"hehe. Well this one night we had every intention, of go to bingo. We must of went to three of them, all of them closed.......So ,we were out,and thought "what heck BING[]",and went dancing instead. So you see everytime we say "we want to go to bingo, they just give us the look,and say "yeah right" Nice memory :)
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
~PATIENCE~Just a dream
For all the wonderful event's, my eyes have bore.....I am learning to endure,and except. I am limited from what once knew, yet I am not limited from being with you. When go to Church,and hear the Pastor say, [patience] I look up,as he is calling my name ....So please try to be patient,and know I'm still learning....I'm sorry you had to see the strength inside me burning,yet perhap's this task Lord has put me through. I've been humbled "this is true".....I'm learning to be a better me, most of I hope You can learn,by I've what I've gone through.......Another day, I get to stay "and be here with You. Another dream ,it was just a dream.....I dream of Jesus, he say's "come along",and as I try to keep up ,I look again,and he is gone.....So I say, I'm learning, I grateful, and will continue to practice patience,and pray for Serenity, for I have so much L[]VE to give, many works undone,and [serve my purpose] And so many mountains to move [one stone at a time]My Love ,You are here.And so am I, You are not alone,Love Mother X[]x
Monday, May 27, 2013
Sunday, May 26, 2013
UNIQUE
Saturday, May 25, 2013
Friday, May 24, 2013
Thursday, May 23, 2013
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
Monday, May 20, 2013
~All that GLITTER's, is G[]LD~[Smash Mouth]
Y[]U are so CAPABLE, set fourth ,and LIVE out the dream's "You designed for yourself in your youth" ["I always ask,what did you what to be (when you were a child) You still capable, so go Serve your purpose, life is short =Follow your dreams".[don't put off till tomarrow,what you can do today] And each day try to exceed your dreams,your goal, there is no promise for tomarrow. []NLY H[]PE~ So "Dance if no one is watching, sing as if no one were listening. And live, everyday as if it were your last."Through this experience~ I try to appreciciate =every woken moment....My body is frail ,my mind is altered. It is trutley an awakening experence,and I'm glad to be here share it with you......My Love, You are here,and so am I.....And You are not alone,now go make Mother proud! "ALL THAT GLITTER's IS G[]LD" Happy Adventure Glitter kisses X[]x
Sunday, May 19, 2013
~CL[]UD ATLAS~ EVERYTHING IS C[]NNECTED.......
~[]ur lives are not our []wn, From womb to tomb,we're bound to other's. Past,and Present....And by each crime,and every kindness, we BIRTH []UR FUTURE~~[]ur lives,and our choices.Each encounter suggest a new potential direction. We cross, and recross our old tracks, like figure skaters "Yesterday my life was heading, in one direction. Today it is heading in another fear,belief,love, phenomena. That determine the course of of lives. There is a force that begins, long before we are born,and continutes after we parish.~DEATH, LIFE, BIRTH~ FUTURE, PRESENT, PAST ~L[]VE, H[]PE, C[]URAGE~ EVERTHING IS C[]NNECTED~ "I believe there is another world waiting for us,And I will be waiting for You there" [My Love, You are here,and so am I. You are not alone X[]x ]
Saturday, May 18, 2013
Thursday, May 16, 2013
~I L[]VE MY LIFE~X[]x
The L[]VE of my LIFE,has come back to me in many forms. The bonds with my children,are stronger than ever.....I am becoming the strong woman, my family once knew.....My FAITH,has re-newed, I have spirital growth.....The Man I L[]VE,never stopped loving me,and we are embracing our feelings for eachother....... I went through such a tragic event,was strong enough to survive.....Gave every material thing to remove myself,from any tainted memory......Then another will breaking experience....=Domestic Violence/PTSD [sometimes emotions wounds are the worst to recover from,I became fight or flight..... I seek theraphy,then as you know the car accident,and since pain is my trigger. I lost my way, It's been as if my life is like the car accident,and I am picking up the pieces of the debris/that are scattered about the highway....And with each piece I pick up ,I recover,and each family photo [I hang on the wall] I recall, who I am....And am re-claiming myself..... I am re-building the Village, one stone at a time......L[]VE HEALS ALL!
[]nly in GOD's time will I understand,the accident....I has left me physically broken/yet I feel stong enough,and lucky enough to say= I'm GLAD TO BE ALIVE,to wake everyday,and see MY L[]VE,to see the face's of those who L[]VE ME.... My family is involved now,I had epidiral last week, they will schedule another, to mask the pain. There is talk of surgery,and cognitive theraphy....I have tramic brain injury,I have to re-learn.....But as I've said to my children, It's gonna be OK, EVERYTHING WILL BE ALRIGHT= Plan A,is to always to have a plan B.......I L[]VE LIFE,G[][]D, AND BAD=THIS TOO SHALL PASS L[]VE M[]THER X[]x
[]nly in GOD's time will I understand,the accident....I has left me physically broken/yet I feel stong enough,and lucky enough to say= I'm GLAD TO BE ALIVE,to wake everyday,and see MY L[]VE,to see the face's of those who L[]VE ME.... My family is involved now,I had epidiral last week, they will schedule another, to mask the pain. There is talk of surgery,and cognitive theraphy....I have tramic brain injury,I have to re-learn.....But as I've said to my children, It's gonna be OK, EVERYTHING WILL BE ALRIGHT= Plan A,is to always to have a plan B.......I L[]VE LIFE,G[][]D, AND BAD=THIS TOO SHALL PASS L[]VE M[]THER X[]x
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
Not again
[]MG =On Church at Sunday,our Pastor says alot "We areall siant's,and have to lead by example" We talk alot this alot,it's not that I'm full of myself,yet I am very spirtal.....He say's people are draw to me,good,and bad....Mostly likely due to all the near death excerences,there' a light in me other people see,and because he knows of the tramas I've endured, he say's " I will constanly be tested" Well I'm be tested again,and again....Usally when I'm ill,and in a dream state [I am being carried to ISAIH, Iam delirious with venem,I was bit by a brown recluse again,on vein of my left hand,I knew some thing was wrong,when began staggering....Yet another day at the hospital=I am out of my mind I pain [but still here,delirious,as I was was making my was to make coffee, this ong was tuck in my head, thoght I would hare it......Be back soon, We can move mountains ,one stone at a time,JUST SOMETIMES THERE MAY BE A SPIDER,UNDER THAT STONE! still setting out ,to build []UR VILLAGE, and serve my purpose :)[]
Sunday, May 12, 2013
~HAPPY M[]THER's DAY!~
[note the star means my child*] *Angelina/aka Moonshine,holding her son Travis ,and husband Michael..I/aka Mothersky/MeMom am beside Micheal,And my *Rachael/aka Sunshine who is with child,due May [Lydia]behind her is Emma,being held by her huband Adam...Just in front is Hannah,being held by sister Donna.Beside my sister is *Jewels/aka Rainbow,behind her is my David/aka every star in the sky....And Love Becka,and then My Mother/aka Nanny ____________________ =FOUR GENERATION's MeMom,and her Monkey's Our niece Cheyenne,sister Donna,ME, to them I'm [Aunt Le],and niece Lauren Anne=Sorry, I did'nt finish ,did'nt feel well~
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