a Living Breathing Journal of My PTSD Journey. as I Paint through the Pain & Celebrate Life.
Thursday, October 9, 2014
[ Reincarnated ]~Rebe ling ~ I was told awhile back not to write about my accident experience......Yesterday my Sister took me to cognitive therapy, this has very difficult on my family [my Children ] Acceptance , so I took a print out of my accident report to councilor , because I've never seen it before..... I found it to be devastating, although the timing was right [because of the company I was in] We realize, the person I was is gone. And portions of my memory recall, my use to be abilities. We had a family salon for years, and when that closed do to the economy, I became a Mall girl ~ I worked at a salon in the mall= I prided myself on perfection/ those days are gone. so in counseling we decided to approach this as a reincarnation= bits of how I was, and how I am...... I have a memory from long ago, I worked at a place in the mall,and they did my hair, and make-up they took to photos. One my hair was up, my wardrobe was white [ I thought it looked very regal]. Then the other was my hair blown out, it looked wild and savage . Well I walked through the mall, and there was this 80 x 80 poster of Me hanging..... I remember be upset, because it wasn't the one I liked~ my point was I didn't see the honor that they choose my poster.[Because it wasn't the one I wanted ] YOU CAN'T ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU WANT = YOU GET WHAT YOU NEED = I will never be who I use to be, I am how I am, and who I am now, and although I haven't painted since before my accident= My family has encouraged Me to sketch, so I will.... And I know I sounds crazy, to still want a store, but I do = because I know there are alot of people like Me [who are misplaced] And I still was to build a Village for all of US misfits. Much LVE DragonflyAlezia Xx