I will take with me My memories, like My sunshine after the rain.......

Tonight is suppose to be the Blood Moon

By the light of the Moon

Tranquility listening of the sound of the wind going through the woods behind Me, watching the ground hog, and squirrels play.

Rebe ling

[ Reincarnated ]~Rebe ling ~ I was told  awhile back not to write about my accident experience......Yesterday my Sister took me to cognitive therapy, this has very difficult on my family [my Children ] Acceptance , so I took a print out of my accident report to councilor , because I've never seen it before..... I found it to be devastating, although the timing was right [because of the company I was in] We realize, the person I was is gone. And portions of my memory recall, my use to be abilities. We had a family salon for years, and when that closed do to the economy, I became a Mall girl ~ I worked at a salon in the mall= I prided myself on perfection/ those days are gone. so in counseling we decided to approach this as a reincarnation= bits of how I was, and how I am......  I have a memory from long ago, I worked at a place in the mall,and they did my hair, and make-up they took to photos. One my hair was up, my wardrobe was white [ I thought it looked very regal].  Then the other was my hair blown out, it looked wild and savage . Well I walked through the mall, and there was this 80 x 80 poster of Me hanging.....  I remember be upset, because it wasn't the one I liked~ my point was  I didn't see the honor that they choose my poster.[Because it wasn't the one I wanted ] YOU CAN'T ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU WANT = YOU GET WHAT YOU NEED = I will never be who I use to be, I am how I am, and who I am now, and  although I haven't painted since before my accident= My family has encouraged Me to sketch, so I will.... And I know I sounds crazy, to still want a store, but I do = because I know there are alot of people like Me [who are misplaced] And I still was to build a Village for all of US misfits. Much L[]VE DragonflyAlezia X[]x
 

~Taking advise from strangers~

Saw my Doctor today that performed my cervical surgery, He said be patient. So I will be patient, and set my pride aside. The up side is, I can hold my neck up-vs- My head use to fall like rag doll.....Start cognitive therapy tomorrow.......

The up side is it's not all in my head. [I am blessed ]

[It's all in my brain] Tried to improve by taken the anti-depressant =but It was causing Me heart palpitations. Back to square one. Now it's in the hands of the neurologist, they are offering Me cognitive therapy. Which I welcome,to re-teach Me. And I really thought having the neck surgery, I would be better. Now the neurologist needs to re-test, because I have numbness down throughout my limbs [EMG] electromyography= measures electrical activity in the muscle. And [NCV] nerve conduction velocity= measures the speed and intensity of the electrical signals that travel along the nerves and the time it takes the muscle to respond......These test provide an accurate diagnosis and are ordered to determine the cause of muscle weakness, pain, numbness, spasms,and paralysis.They will show if the symptoms have resulted from nerve  or muscle injuries.  

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          I'm having a hard time coming to terms with it.They are going to re-test my limbs,because of the time that has passed it's permanent.I keep telling Myself it could be worst. And it's getting better.

~Learning to cope~

[traumatic brain injury] permanent nerve damage~ It is settling in, because it is permanent it's not going away~ Saw the neurologist, I stopped posting my progress after my surgery = because  I didn't feel better.While the artificial disc, has held my neck up.The numbness through my body remains, I have been staying with My Sister, because I started an anti-depressant. I have been prone to seizures, so I need to be under the care of family. I know things could be worst, and I'm grateful to be alive. To be be present to see My Children, and Grand Children. I was under the false hope,that this would pass. I even ignored the word permanent, as long as they gave Me H[]PE.... But enough time has passed, and I've been told to have acceptance [So I'm learning to cope, as I Pray]

I must learn to accept,the Me I am now..... But I still have the spirit of a wild child, who wants to paint. I just need to be patient [for gifts come to us in God's Time]  See You soon, enjoy my new favorite song by Kenny Chesney, and Grace Potter.